Over the past week, I've also managed to take care of another major order of business: assign colors to the bridesmaids and get them to order their dresses.
Last Saturday, I met Nicole, Jon and their little niece Natalia at David's Bridal. Nicole was going to figure out what size dress fits her as well as select her color. I'm having the girls wear all different colors, and I let my sisters have first choice of what they wanted to wear. Natalia was there because she's going to be our (absolutely adorable) flower girl.
I got to the store a little late, and Nicole had already gotten her size and color squared away. They had picked out a flower girl dress for Natalia to try, so Nicole took Natalia into the dressing room to try it on, Jon sat outside the dressing rooms, doodling in his notebook. I wandered around a bit, looking at other possible flower girl dresses. After a few minutes, I returned to the dressing room area, and that's when I heard the screaming.
Intermingled with general wailing I caught the cries, "I don't like it!" and "I'm not pretty anymore!" Nicole's voice carried over the mirrored walls as well, trying to reason with Natalia.
"Of course you're pretty! Why don't you like it?" I made my way over to their room, sensing trouble. After a moment, the door opened, and Nicole and Natalia emerged. Natalia was not wearing a flower girl dress. She clutched her blue stuffed monkey, looking forlorn. Nicole said,
"She doesn't want to try any dresses on." By this time my mom had arrived, she knelt down to give Natalia a hug (my mom adores small children, which can be inferred by the fact I am one of five kids).
We took Natalia back over to look at the other flower girl dresses, asking her if she liked any of them. This one with the poofy skirt? No. How about this one, with the beads? No. What about one of these colored ones? Again and again, Natalia stubbornly shook her head. I've never felt like I'm very good with kids. I don't want to talk down to them, but I don't know how to talk to them in a way that connects. I tried reassuring Natalia, telling her that she was very beautiful, but nothing seemed to be working.
"I think she's a little overwhelmed," Nicole said. "There's so many people in here, and all of these mirrors. As soon as we walked in, she told me she was scared."
We decided to look elsewhere. Jon and Nicole asked Natalia if she wanted to look at the Easter dresses at "the other store" (Burlington Coat Factory). She nodded. This seemed like our only option.
Fifteen minutes later, we were looking at the little girls' dresses at BCF, and Nicole explained to me the real reason why Natalia had been so upset.
"I talked to my grandma on the way over here," she said, "and she told me that for some reason, Natalia had thought we were taking her to look at Halloween costumes. She wants to be Dracula for Halloween, so when we showed her the dresses she thought we were forcing her to be a princess."
I am fascinated by how the child's mind works. After hearing this, Natalia's tantrum made perfect sense. She had desires and expectations that she couldn't express in words; instead, she had been overwhelmed by her emotions. And all this time, she must have thought that we were the crazy ones, that for some unknown reason we weren't cooperating.
Needless to say, after Nicole explained that Natalia could still be Dracula for Halloween, and that this trip was to find a dress for the wedding, Natalia was much more enthusiastic about trying on dresses. Dress after dress I showed her, asking if she liked it, and she was all nods.
Nicole is going to be wearing a heathery-purple bridesmaid dress, and we found an ivory dress for Natalia, adorned with tiny purple roses. And it gets even better: the dress came with an identical miniature dress, just the right size for a favorite doll, or a favorite stuffed blue monkey. I think Natalia liked that part the best.
(Also, can't you imagine an adorable little girl walking down the aisle, scattering flower petals, and cradling her blue monkey in a matching dress? How cute would that be?)
Oh, and we also decided on our photograhper. It's going to be that guy I mentioned in the last couple of blogs. I was worried he'd be too pricey, but they put together a package we're happy with within our budget. They're called Jones Photo Art, if you want to look them up.
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